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It can be hard to tell someone what you think of them. You know, if you like them. It's the typical introvert's biggest problem.
The first time you see someone, you generally make a judgement of them, right? Even if you went to someone's journal, straight away you make some sort of judgement based on your first glance. It might or might not be right (or there might be no right or wrong viewpoint, depending how you look at it), but that's not important.
If you say to someone you don't know that you did something just because you thought they'd like it - a complete stranger - it is hard to tell how they would react.
They might like it, thinking 'Wow, someone was thinking of me! Someone liked [this something] about me!' Or. They might think 'errr, that was weird. Why would someone do/say something like that? How do I respond to that? What a fruitcake!' It's not always a simple task of going up to someone and just telling them you like them. That can be a very creepy thing to someone you do not know, and, in any other circumstance, would pass you right by.
But the world is not full of freaky strange people. Just because you don't know them, doesn't mean they're horrible.
Take![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
theferrett, for example. When I came across his journal, I noticed he wrote some of the most interesting stuff I have ever read. Granted, he wasn't saying it to me, but he was saying it to anyone who would listen. Most people do this on journals. The difference is that most people don't attract audiences of 1749 people - most of them strangers.
He has written about subjects that most people would consider absolutely henious. Not many, granted, but a story about how he has cheated on a past girlfriend, talks about breakups fairly openly - despite some shaky circumstances, usually on his part (although regrettable by the time he writes it) and is obsessed with porn throughout - they're not the kind of things you would expect a great guy to have experienced in his lifetime at all, let alone once or twice or thrice. But everyone likes him. Somewhere in his entries, he manages to convince his readers that he is one of the greatest people in the world. And I have to admit, I am not sure I am an exception.
I don't even know this guy except for what he says. Not even what he says, a lot of what he says is pretty bad stuff. It's just something about the way he says it. Even the bad stuff is still pretty damn good.
Yet if I, a complete stranger, saw you in a club the other night, and I'm now at your store about to buy something, I might say, with the best of intentions, 'hey, weren't you at [this club] the other night?' and expect a reasonable answer.
I don't know about you, but if someone I don't know saw me someplace and said that to me, I would be a little weirded out.
It probably also wouldn't help if, after I was weirded out, the other person said 'oh, I'm not stalking you.'
There's something about finding the right way to tell people how you feel when you don't know how to say it. Because if you know that you don't know how to say what you want to say, you can find yourself in some very sticky social situations.
...or if you keep quiet, no social situations at all.
The first time you see someone, you generally make a judgement of them, right? Even if you went to someone's journal, straight away you make some sort of judgement based on your first glance. It might or might not be right (or there might be no right or wrong viewpoint, depending how you look at it), but that's not important.
If you say to someone you don't know that you did something just because you thought they'd like it - a complete stranger - it is hard to tell how they would react.
They might like it, thinking 'Wow, someone was thinking of me! Someone liked [this something] about me!' Or. They might think 'errr, that was weird. Why would someone do/say something like that? How do I respond to that? What a fruitcake!' It's not always a simple task of going up to someone and just telling them you like them. That can be a very creepy thing to someone you do not know, and, in any other circumstance, would pass you right by.
But the world is not full of freaky strange people. Just because you don't know them, doesn't mean they're horrible.
Take
theferrett, for example. When I came across his journal, I noticed he wrote some of the most interesting stuff I have ever read. Granted, he wasn't saying it to me, but he was saying it to anyone who would listen. Most people do this on journals. The difference is that most people don't attract audiences of 1749 people - most of them strangers.He has written about subjects that most people would consider absolutely henious. Not many, granted, but a story about how he has cheated on a past girlfriend, talks about breakups fairly openly - despite some shaky circumstances, usually on his part (although regrettable by the time he writes it) and is obsessed with porn throughout - they're not the kind of things you would expect a great guy to have experienced in his lifetime at all, let alone once or twice or thrice. But everyone likes him. Somewhere in his entries, he manages to convince his readers that he is one of the greatest people in the world. And I have to admit, I am not sure I am an exception.
I don't even know this guy except for what he says. Not even what he says, a lot of what he says is pretty bad stuff. It's just something about the way he says it. Even the bad stuff is still pretty damn good.
Yet if I, a complete stranger, saw you in a club the other night, and I'm now at your store about to buy something, I might say, with the best of intentions, 'hey, weren't you at [this club] the other night?' and expect a reasonable answer.
I don't know about you, but if someone I don't know saw me someplace and said that to me, I would be a little weirded out.
It probably also wouldn't help if, after I was weirded out, the other person said 'oh, I'm not stalking you.'
There's something about finding the right way to tell people how you feel when you don't know how to say it. Because if you know that you don't know how to say what you want to say, you can find yourself in some very sticky social situations.
...or if you keep quiet, no social situations at all.
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(no subject)
You do know theferrett is a writer, don't you?
If it helps: I don't think Ferrett is the greatest person in the world. Personally, I think Ferret is an arrogant, ignorant, hypocritical wanker. :) I used to read his crap (and there WAS some good stuff in there - I'll give him THAT much credit), then I had an argument with the guy - not only did he not touch any of the points I was addressing, but he put words in my mouth (which he then attacked me for) and resorted to ad-hominem arguments in the absence of having anything factual to contradict me with. Basically, he's a big ol' chunky sellout who knows how to write and schmooze, and I should probably study how he does it, even though the guy shits me.
By the way, a suavely-dressed, handsome, polite, courtly contract assassin is, despite his social graces and the image he projects, still a murderer who does it for the money...
Re:
And everything you said in your first paragraph is the point I'm trying to make.
Errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr..........what?
Oh, and if you have a character flaw, simply acknowledging it and laughing it off is not a license to continue indulging it, in my ever so humble opinion. There are people who tackle their character flaws, and people who would rather not make the effort. I don't respect the latter category much. Guess where ol Ferrett fits?
As for the second point - yeah, TRYING to make. The way you were describing it, it wasn't at all clear that there wasn't something else in what he was writing that improved people's attitudes. Good writing isn't the only thing that compensates for lousy actions, but in this case, I think it's the primary agent in play, no?