avatar_1: (Quenton)
Right now, I'm getting paid to play UO.

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avatar_1: (Quenton)
I've been getting back into UO this weekend. Been doing bits and pieces of other stuff too; I'm trying to go out as much as I can, despite feeling tired. I'm well awake after I've been out for a bit, it's just pushing myself to move in the first place that stops me. I can go from wanting to sleep to not wanting to go home if someone tells me they want to go dancing and I feel like sleeping - as long as I go.

It's occured to me I really don't know anywhere near as much as I need to with regards to TAR, and I've been out of business for three years with regards to playing UO at all (except for the few times I've gone to infiltrate other shards, but that doesn't count). Coming back to play it has been pretty hysterical. Nothing except the very core that makes UO is the same as it used to be. The map of Britannia and T2A are the same, but Malas and Illshenar are completely unexplored - I haven't even had time to go there yet. Reagents are the same, spells act a little differently, but the monster AI has been completely upgraded.

If you've played UO before, you MUST read through this. )

So yeah, that kind of thing can get me riled up for a while, considering everything before that is building up the character. And isn't that what it's all about.

I'm two hours past bedtime. I really want to know if I'm going to Melbourne or staying in Brisbane. I can make plans for either of them, but not at the same time. What I want to do, I want to be doing now. This is always the way it is. Lots of hurry up then wait, repeat. I'm sick of waiting.

The alternative is to just tell Link that I'll stay here. But I just can't keep that line of thinking. This is far too tremendous an opportunity to not try and keep pushing for. It's so easy to just say "Forget it." But from where I stand, it's almost impossible. I may as well go tell my parents I'm moving back in with them. Not this century, ladies and gentlemen!

So I sit here and wait. There's nothing else I can do. I don't know if you've noticed it yet, but I'm already setting myself up for a trap here. Assuming that what I want actually happens, and they give me the go-ahead for Melbourne, that means I'll have to see everyone I want to see, very very quickly. It's not likely work will give me much notice when they decide it's time for me to go. So around working full time hours, I'm going to end up going out more, and inevitably going to miss far too many people. If you attended my 21st, that's some indication.

The end result is that this is a lose-lose situation. Whoa. Hold on a minute. That wasn't the original plan. The original plan was go to Melbourne, big opportunities; or stay here, nothing to lose. Win-win. How did I go from win-win to lose-lose? Both results still work. It's all about how I look at this. So how am I looking at this? The answer isn't rocket science.

I'm sitting here. Waiting for a reply. Nothing more, nothing less.

Lying in the bed, hear the clock tickin', think of you. Caught up in circles, confusion is nothing new...
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avatar_1: (Hope)
Work has been really creepy this week. So far, most companies are still on christmas break, and we have very little work to do. After the news of my department moving to Melbourne and the rest of us having to go back to messaging, it's felt like the last day of school.

After talks with the upper people, I've understood that what seems unstable now is actually what makes the stability of the company itself, as hard as that concept might be to comprehend. Bottom line is it'll be okay, and this is just temporary. I'm trusting them not to screw us over. I've been in their position before with TAR, and I think they're genuine.

I don't think they handled it 100% efficiently, and there's still a lot of rumours about what's going on, but I think that will come out later on. I need to trust them as much as I'd want my staff to trust me on TAR.

Speaking of TAR, it's become apparent things are going to really evolve this year. Damian's already put up a new site and a helpdesk, staff are working together more personally now that we have less work to do, and once (if) Sphere 1.0 actually does come out on its prescribed date of February 2nd, 2004. I think this time that the date the sphere devs gave us might be for real. I think they're genuine.

I hope so.
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avatar_1: (Quenton)
Someone who looks for the truth needs to find their courage - the truth is not easy to come to terms with.

Someone who looks for courage needs to realise that there's something worth fighting for, something that you'd be willing to sacrifice anything for. Something you'd fall in love with.

Someone who looks for love needs no truth, needs no courage.

Love alone is not good enough. Love alone can you get you into a lot of problems with yourself. With courage, you might be able to take a few steps closer. With truth, you might know why you're there in the first place. With all three, you're set.

I don't know what you're looking for... you haven't found it baby, that's for sure.
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avatar_1: (Quenton)
[20:50] [Kiwilord] http://thealterrealm.com/boards/index.php
[20:51] [Kiwilord] thats the link from tars site to the furom main page
[20:51] [Kiwilord] but goes direct to pol forum
[20:53] [Kiwilord] arghh
[20:53] [Kiwilord] stoned again ...just had to scroll down
[20:53] [Kiwilord] lol

I shit you not, these people exist in the thousands.
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avatar_1: (Riverlook)
I haven't felt real good lately. Well, I'm not right now, anyway. I haven't been showing it though, and there's a real good reason for that. Whenever I'm around other people, it's usually pretty easy to make myself entertaining. I like entertaining people. Anything to put a smile on someone's face. I love it. It makes me feel good, and I'm happy. It's not that I'm ignoring that I'm depressed, I'm genuinely happy. I know that.

On my own, however, it's a whole new story. I just start getting really emotional whenever I get bored. I'm just never satisfied with what I've got recently, and I don't remember how I handled it before. This hasn't really gone on for long, if memory serves. With any luck, just a phase.

I had a really disturbing thought tonight. I was talking about my current KFC addiction and Elsie and Rohan were telling me about how I was probably going to get kidney failure/diabetes if I kept on my current track. I've been like that with my eating habits all my life. Anyway, for some reason, a line from Britannia Lives On popped in my head.

I'm going to die before I see my work complete.

That got me thinking about how I constantly say that Quenton is my idol. Think about that for a minute.
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avatar_1: (Quenton)
I was meant to be planning my 21st with Matty today. It was a little unorganised, and if he called me I would've done something about it if he called me, and any other day I would've called him, but I spent the most part of the day being lazy and tired. Completely intentional, and I don't feel guilty about it. Today was a day off, and I couldn't do anything else considering it was a sunday. I spent most of the day waiting for a staff meeting on TAR.

The staff meeting started at 1am, a bit late considering it was meant to be at midnight. The staff on TAR are all in different timezones, and this was really the most convenient time for me considering everyone else. The thing was, this meeting went for four hours. The log from the last meeting was 19kb. The log from this one was 112kb. Who says we're not making progress on that shard.

Vicki was helping me get find some jobs earlier, which was what provoked that post earlier. I am motivated to look for work, I just can't find the time. I was talking to Elsie about finding time to do things when there's so much other stuff that needs to be done, and grabbed a few tips from her. I've really just come to the conclusion that there's other important things that need to be done. I won't go into that because I've been through it before, but as I've said, by the time I turn 21...

I was meant to go do pancakes with Benn after the meeting, but that meeting started at 1am and ended at 5am. I have to be awake by 3pm tomorrow (today). Screw that.
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avatar_1: (Quenton)
I had a REALLY warped dream the other night that I'm amazed I still remember. Most of you won't have a clue what I'm talking about and fewer still will know what exactly what I'm talking about.

The other day I was playing Ultima IX: Ascension quite a lot, and I'd gotten to dungeon Hythloth. In Ascension, they've actually built it to be a sewer. To get to this sewer, you have go to the Shrine of Humilty, that teleports you to an underwater dome, and you teleport from the dome to a back wall in the sewer. The way Ascension works is like this: it's a *big* world, all 3D rendered, chase camera view. It's not really continuous though. When you walk inside a dungeon, you are actually changing maps even though you can barely notice it, since the walls of dungeons are usually pretty coarse, and you weave around rounded corners and stuff. It's the same deal with the dome, and Hythloth. Both are seperate maps to the world map.

There are some cheats in the game that let you fly around. It's kinda complicated, but basically, you're always facing in the direction you're flying. If you want to fly directly up, you're facing the roof. If you want to fly forwards, you're looking straight ahead. Also, when you're flying, you clip through the walls. Flying too fast can lead the game to crash.

I have to say I really hate the dungeons throughout the entire ultima series, with the exception of UO. They're all ridiculously tedious. The worst however, is probably found in Ascension, and goes by the name of Hythloth. A sewer. It's ugly, it's complicated. Luckily, I have maps. I flew throughout most of Hythloth getting the one item I needed to get in there for in the first place, then I flew over to the teleporter that leads to the exit. Apparently, the guys who made this game cut Hythloth in half because the whole dungeon was far too difficult (understandably) right before the game reached sign-off. I read this in my walkthrough book. I couldn't find the damn teleporter, no matter how hard I tried, and eventually I got lost. I walked around a bit, and realised I'd never seen any of these rooms before, so I assumed I was in the extra cut-off rooms that Origin never included. I thought the whole dungeon was there when I read the book, but it looked to me like there were whole walls missing. You'd just walk past where the wall was meant to be and you'd be swimming in an endless ocean. Kinda creepy.

Anyway, after a bit of looking around and saving and reloading, I realised there was a point I actually had to walk through to let the map change so I could reach that teleporter. Eventually I got to the teleporter, and this teleporter leads to a watery cavern where you actually have to swim underwater to reach Hythloth's exit. This is where things get interesting, because the map actually changes from the lower level Hythloth map to the world map, right next to the shrine (which you don't notice when you're first at the shrine, since it's underwater). My computer didn't seem to like this for some reason, and kept crashing. I tried it like ten times, and I couldn't do anything. This was the only exit out of the dungeon. I was trapped in Hythloth.

And this is where the dream kicks in.

I was flying around in Hythloth (btw, this dungeon actually looks very cool when it's all real) trying to get out, and I knew there was no way I was getting out. My only hope was for a different exit, and that wasn't happening. So really I was just flying around aimlessly. As I was flying around near where the real exit was supposed to be, I turned towards the roof and noticed a corridor - into the roof, where you weren't meant to be able to go anyway - that I'd never noticed before, like those stupid ledges in Zelda 64 that seem to serve no purpose. I flew up closer to it, and there was a door at the end, saying "Emergency Exit". I had been saved. Here was my exit.

There was a problem though. I knew the other exit led me underwater. If I got this door open, I'd cause the ocean to flood inside the sewer. I'd never be able to get past the water pressure, and my chances for getting out were nil anyway. FUCK! So after a bit more looking around and looking at the door, I finally decided to open it anyway since my only other alternative was to die of old age in this sewer. I pryed it open, and not a drop of water came through, but sunlight. The "emergency exit" had cleverly been disguised as a tile near the shrine, like a secret entrance.

Then I heard a phone ring, and Psycho Liz woke me up with another one of her prank calls.
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