avatar_1: (Downlit)
I was watching Inception, fell asleep half way through. The following morning, I woke up and flitted around a bit before finishing the second half. By the very end of it, I was dozing off as the end credits rolled. I had a bit of a hard time actually falling asleep. This is very strange for me; I can usually fall asleep pretty much instantly all the time.

When I woke up, it was the next day already, and Dad was driving me to school. He was mad that I wasn't organised and now we were rushing. I looked at my watch, it was 8:47, and I was meant to be there at 8:30. Me, being the rebel I am, tried to hurry and stop him and the same time - what the hell had happened? My naps usually take around 3 hours and here we were the next bloody day. I didn't remember anything, including when I'd gotten ready to go, waking up, or anything else. The last thing I'd remembered was going to sleep the day before.

The only explanation for this kind of memory lapse was that I'd had another seizure.

It's been years and years since I had my last seizure, but that wasn't the worrying thing about this one - they had never occurred like this one did. Usually I'm awake when it happens, and I usually experience an aura before it happens that I remember after I wake up from the sleep-induced seizure. Nothing like that occurred here. This one happened while I was sleeping.

My parents were kind of terrified and seemed to want to rush so as to make nothing look out of the ordinary to anyone else, which explains why they were upset. They've always preferred having things their way and not having to explain themselves, not even to me. They just had an expectation for me to do as I was told. The whole thing made me angrier to get my facts straight. I wanted to know what the hell happened, and they were the ones who clearly knew more than they were telling me about what had happened. They must have known, at the very least, what happened before I ended up in the car with dad. They were awake, and with me at the time, in the period where I simply had no memory.

But I was running late for a game that I had to attend, and participate in. As usual, I did have some reason to actually do what my parents were telling me to do, rather than find out what happened to me. My parents insisted I wouldn't be playing that game today, that they'd already sorted it out. This had me fuming. Like any seizure, afterwards, I was feeling fine - I basically felt like my "nap" was finished and nothing else (bar my spotty memory). They wouldn't relent on the idea that I'd be playing after I "needed to reset" (in their words), so I went off anyway, let them drive me in.

When we got there, I had every intention of checking in with my coaches so we could do what we were there to do, and my coaches seemed to take an active interest in having a chat with me, in a very concerned manner. In the way that anyone would be after some sort of serious sickness had taken hold of a person. As if they knew what happened. My parents had obviously told them about the seizure in advance; another piece of my missing memory revealed. If my parents had answered me when I'd asked them what had happened instead of rushing me to do as they'd wanted, this would have come up. In any case, I assured my coaches I was fine and fully capable of playing. Their concern rose - they obviously didn't agree, but I pressed them, and I was going to prove I was okay.

They'd organised a helicopter for our team to get to the game, and everyone was in uniform, including shorts. I was wearing long pants, and was already kind of hot. I obviously didn't come prepared just from the look of me. How had I forgotten this? My parents obviously didn't remind me because they didn't want me playing, and this would almost certainly exclude me. Even if I wanted to play, I'd be sweating to pieces if I'd tried. No wonder nobody believed me. I was dressed like anyone there, except a player in uniform. I didn't care, I wanted in. I got in the helicopter with the other players.

Some of them tried talking to me about where I'd been, and they seemed to feel like something was off. Of course there was, why the hell was I dressed like that? I looked like a spectator. Most of them eventually filed off the helicopter to talk to someone else or to talk between each other privately, I couldn't tell.

Some other semi-interesting events from then on occurred that I can't really remember. But it felt like I was getting nowhere. I was still so stumped about what the hell had happened the past day or so, and what was going on now.

Then I woke up. It'd only been a couple of hours since I napped, not a full day. I don't live with my parents, I haven't been going to school now for over a decade, I don't play any sports. And I didn't have a seizure.
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avatar_1: (Riverlook)
Last night I dreamt I was going to die, about 24 hours or so to live. There was a reason that was happening, but I don't really remember it; the first part of the dream had something to do with avoiding or fighting something that had this type of effect if something went wrong. As far fetched as parts of this dream was, it felt so real.

I could still walk around and talk. At times my body would go a little nuts and have a mind of its own; my arm flailing and my muscles getting really weak, dropping me to the floor. It kept reminding me there wasn't much time left the worse I felt; it was hard to tell since I wasn't sure just how long I had. Telling people I was going to die wasn't easy, and even though I tried to keep my calm about it, I knew this wasn't the kind of news anybody could take well. I didn't see everyone I knew, but only because they were busy getting on with their own lives.

The thought later occured to me to write a will. I started writing down who got what, and I found after about five lines that it was getting really difficult; I don't own that much that would be of value to other people, and it didn't feel right to give the people who meant the most to me something that was equally sentimental. Now that I'm awake, there's probably quite a lot more I could give away, but handing specific things to specific people is really tough. Think about what you'd give to people - it's not quite as simple as you might think.

I didn't end up dying. I woke up.
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avatar_1: (Quenton)
I had a REALLY warped dream the other night that I'm amazed I still remember. Most of you won't have a clue what I'm talking about and fewer still will know what exactly what I'm talking about.

The other day I was playing Ultima IX: Ascension quite a lot, and I'd gotten to dungeon Hythloth. In Ascension, they've actually built it to be a sewer. To get to this sewer, you have go to the Shrine of Humilty, that teleports you to an underwater dome, and you teleport from the dome to a back wall in the sewer. The way Ascension works is like this: it's a *big* world, all 3D rendered, chase camera view. It's not really continuous though. When you walk inside a dungeon, you are actually changing maps even though you can barely notice it, since the walls of dungeons are usually pretty coarse, and you weave around rounded corners and stuff. It's the same deal with the dome, and Hythloth. Both are seperate maps to the world map.

There are some cheats in the game that let you fly around. It's kinda complicated, but basically, you're always facing in the direction you're flying. If you want to fly directly up, you're facing the roof. If you want to fly forwards, you're looking straight ahead. Also, when you're flying, you clip through the walls. Flying too fast can lead the game to crash.

I have to say I really hate the dungeons throughout the entire ultima series, with the exception of UO. They're all ridiculously tedious. The worst however, is probably found in Ascension, and goes by the name of Hythloth. A sewer. It's ugly, it's complicated. Luckily, I have maps. I flew throughout most of Hythloth getting the one item I needed to get in there for in the first place, then I flew over to the teleporter that leads to the exit. Apparently, the guys who made this game cut Hythloth in half because the whole dungeon was far too difficult (understandably) right before the game reached sign-off. I read this in my walkthrough book. I couldn't find the damn teleporter, no matter how hard I tried, and eventually I got lost. I walked around a bit, and realised I'd never seen any of these rooms before, so I assumed I was in the extra cut-off rooms that Origin never included. I thought the whole dungeon was there when I read the book, but it looked to me like there were whole walls missing. You'd just walk past where the wall was meant to be and you'd be swimming in an endless ocean. Kinda creepy.

Anyway, after a bit of looking around and saving and reloading, I realised there was a point I actually had to walk through to let the map change so I could reach that teleporter. Eventually I got to the teleporter, and this teleporter leads to a watery cavern where you actually have to swim underwater to reach Hythloth's exit. This is where things get interesting, because the map actually changes from the lower level Hythloth map to the world map, right next to the shrine (which you don't notice when you're first at the shrine, since it's underwater). My computer didn't seem to like this for some reason, and kept crashing. I tried it like ten times, and I couldn't do anything. This was the only exit out of the dungeon. I was trapped in Hythloth.

And this is where the dream kicks in.

I was flying around in Hythloth (btw, this dungeon actually looks very cool when it's all real) trying to get out, and I knew there was no way I was getting out. My only hope was for a different exit, and that wasn't happening. So really I was just flying around aimlessly. As I was flying around near where the real exit was supposed to be, I turned towards the roof and noticed a corridor - into the roof, where you weren't meant to be able to go anyway - that I'd never noticed before, like those stupid ledges in Zelda 64 that seem to serve no purpose. I flew up closer to it, and there was a door at the end, saying "Emergency Exit". I had been saved. Here was my exit.

There was a problem though. I knew the other exit led me underwater. If I got this door open, I'd cause the ocean to flood inside the sewer. I'd never be able to get past the water pressure, and my chances for getting out were nil anyway. FUCK! So after a bit more looking around and looking at the door, I finally decided to open it anyway since my only other alternative was to die of old age in this sewer. I pryed it open, and not a drop of water came through, but sunlight. The "emergency exit" had cleverly been disguised as a tile near the shrine, like a secret entrance.

Then I heard a phone ring, and Psycho Liz woke me up with another one of her prank calls.
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