avatar_1: (Riverlook)
After I went through the enlightenment, the message was clear. You are never alone, even if it feels like you are, even in the worst of circumstances.

Or another way of following up on that idea in practise: if you ever feel like you're alone, remind yourself of the logic that you're not alone.

I live thinking that at the back of my mind everyday. So well did the message get through to me that I made it a core belief in myself.

Yet I go through each day thinking everyone I meet is so different. Sometimes the feeling is so overwhelming, it momentarily makes me question that single fact. But then I remember that my emotions are just getting the better of me, and dismiss the thought, correcting myself.

The similarities between myself and other people must be there. If not completely, at least in part. Talking to people on the internet or seeing what they have to say when they talk will regularly prove it (albeit not with everyone, but that's not the goal).

I'll clarify: I'm not looking for someone or some people exactly the same as me; that's probably not possible and that doesn't bother me. I'm looking for a particular quality in someone.

One of the things which disappointed me about my state of affairs in Brisbane was that I thought I'd found it. That I was lucky enough to know what it felt like not to be alone. But after a certain point, I realised I had, for the most part, been kidding myself. For years. We all were, to some extent. We sacrificed a lot of who we were to fit into some sort of societal norm. We did things out of character and made them part of ourselves - for the sake of other people around us.

We cope with it quite well usually, because we want the best for ourselves and turn that change into something that we want to do, something that we (passively) decide we like.

But on the whole, we are sometimes made to do things we don't want to do. Made to be someone we don't want to be. We temporarily become someone we are not.

We feel fear, because we don't want to disappoint our peers, or feel left out.

We feel frustration, because not being able to be who we want to be makes us feel trapped, and we often don't realise what's happened.

We get angry at each other. We don't try to understand the minority opinion if it's too far out there, for all of the above reasons.

We risk rejection, the all-too-common cause of fear that stops us doing great things with our lives.

I want to find people who understand this. Who have an active passion to participate in getting this idea out to people, and in finding radical ways to pursue change. To pursue an improvement. To break away from the norm we have so well imposed on ourselves, even if only because we didn't know any better at the time. To be able to say to yourself that maybe everything you know, that so much of the way you do things, is wrong. That so much of it is keeping you stuck in your routine, and has very little to do with unlocking your potential as a human being with a limited amount of time to spare in this world.

If we did, imagine what problems we could resolve. Less fear. Less frustration. Less discrimination. Less rejection.

Less feeling alone.
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October 2014

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